Birthday thoughts

Whenever my birthday comes, I am always dubious about what will happen this time. When I was a little girl, I used to wonder "is mom making fruit salad this year too?", "how will the birthday party go". In college it was so much fun celebrating particularly in girls hostel. One of my friend used to remember the birthday and used to give me a beautiful greeting card every year. It was more meaningful because she used to be blunt other days but that day she used to make me feel special. I felt it so many times. The other time, one of my best friend just wrote a nice poem about our friendship and made me realize that I hold one end of the friendship. It was just wonderful when she wrote me that poem. We have maintained our friendship even after several rifts and 8000 miles distance.

Now I stay away from my family and all these wonderful friends. I have made new friends here but they just seem to evade as time passes by. Somebody who celebrated my birthday with utmost enthusiasm last year, do not even call this time. It hurts, but then one cannot fathom the complexity of human mind and how it take decisions and sometimes the mind cannot find any logical reason too. May be just realize that we need to move on.

Yesterday when I left office I did not know what will happen that evening. We usually celebrate birthdays at 12:00 in the night, banging on the door, waking up birthday girl/boy from sleep and decorate their faces with cake. Will that happen this year too? May be not, most of my friends are back in India, so may be no one will celebrate. I was also missing the family so much because I just came back from India. I left office wrapped in all these thoughts.

I saw clear moon and thought it was specially bright for me :) While driving, I noticed christmas lights all over in Omaha downtown. This was one beautiful site. My doubts was gone. I was happier than usual. Truly just the presence of light enlightens our hearts so much. Even though nobody banged my door at 12:00 in the night, I got calls from family and friends in India. In the morning, there were emails and greeting cards in my inbox. Its just wonderful how small things like sending a greeting card can cheer up somebody's mood. There were celebrations in the office, at a friends place. The day was really really great. 

It just made me realize that there are people somewhere who are happy for me being a part of their life and thats what make my life more livable, so happy birthday to me!!!