Classical musicians and Engineers

I was in India for Diwali. Its our family tradition to tune to 5:00 AM kirtan (praise of god) and after that head to Classical Indian music concert. When you live in city like Pune, the opportunities are ample. This year we attended music concert by Kaushiki Chakrabarty. I did not know much about her but dad had told us to get those tickets. I am not music connoisseur (would love to be some day) but what I really liked in her singing the way she connects with the audience. Somebody who does not know anything about Raga will know everything by the end of it. Her boltana (where one mixes up the song and taans) are amazing. She has developed that style from her father and teacher Pt. Ajoy Chakrabarty and also Pt. Jnan Prakash Ghosh. She sang Miyan ki Todi and Ahir Bhairav. I wished we could have recorded, it was an awesome concert. She sang a bhajan "Ab aa jaana bhagwan" (O God, please appear now) - brought tears to my eyes. We all have heard classical music from so many musicians but this artist performs some kind of magic. No wonder, all I hear in my car these days is "Raag Madhuvanti - Kaahe Maan Karo" by Kaushiki.

When we came home from the concert I was talking with my dad about her music and how did he know that she is so good. He pulled my legs by telling me that he has magical powers but then on my incessant insisting he told me that he had read the review. She had sung in Sawai Gandharva music festival in 2007 and of course the reviewer could not stop praising her. He was talking passionately how all these artists connect with the super power called as god with their music. It started a thought in my mind, does music really have that magical power that let a human being connect with the almighty? I may never find that out in this life time but then I guess its because these artist devote themselves fully to music. The connection is a result of ultimate devotion in anything that we do. Their music soothes so many peoples mind. It gives the endless joy to a common human being.

I am thinking, do I feel that connection being an engineer? Am I that devoted? Very few times I had felt it but I had :) It was when I forgot where I was when I was solving algebra problems or when I wrote Unix Operating Systems paper in Engineering or when I left office feeling that "my god, I can't believe that I could participate in that big project and do some work". My work do not give endless joy to others but I think, it gives endless joy to me at least that day. We engineers are thirsty people, we crave for more and more and many times nothing is satisfactory. May be that's the essence of this profession - bettering ourselves and hope that this journey give us that devotional feeling every day!

Birthday thoughts

Whenever my birthday comes, I am always dubious about what will happen this time. When I was a little girl, I used to wonder "is mom making fruit salad this year too?", "how will the birthday party go". In college it was so much fun celebrating particularly in girls hostel. One of my friend used to remember the birthday and used to give me a beautiful greeting card every year. It was more meaningful because she used to be blunt other days but that day she used to make me feel special. I felt it so many times. The other time, one of my best friend just wrote a nice poem about our friendship and made me realize that I hold one end of the friendship. It was just wonderful when she wrote me that poem. We have maintained our friendship even after several rifts and 8000 miles distance.

Now I stay away from my family and all these wonderful friends. I have made new friends here but they just seem to evade as time passes by. Somebody who celebrated my birthday with utmost enthusiasm last year, do not even call this time. It hurts, but then one cannot fathom the complexity of human mind and how it take decisions and sometimes the mind cannot find any logical reason too. May be just realize that we need to move on.

Yesterday when I left office I did not know what will happen that evening. We usually celebrate birthdays at 12:00 in the night, banging on the door, waking up birthday girl/boy from sleep and decorate their faces with cake. Will that happen this year too? May be not, most of my friends are back in India, so may be no one will celebrate. I was also missing the family so much because I just came back from India. I left office wrapped in all these thoughts.

I saw clear moon and thought it was specially bright for me :) While driving, I noticed christmas lights all over in Omaha downtown. This was one beautiful site. My doubts was gone. I was happier than usual. Truly just the presence of light enlightens our hearts so much. Even though nobody banged my door at 12:00 in the night, I got calls from family and friends in India. In the morning, there were emails and greeting cards in my inbox. Its just wonderful how small things like sending a greeting card can cheer up somebody's mood. There were celebrations in the office, at a friends place. The day was really really great. 

It just made me realize that there are people somewhere who are happy for me being a part of their life and thats what make my life more livable, so happy birthday to me!!!